The Manhattan Connection – Bridged the Gap in our Relationship
I worked for a large Insurance company in the late 2010s as an Executive Assistant (EA) to the Vice President of Sales and Operations. My boss, Jeffery was responsible for new commercial underwriting for construction projects in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. He was the youngest VP in the company, who burned his way to the top.
Working this job was a learning curve for me, and I had to bridge the gap between what my boss needed and what I had learned in my culture.
I had to sort out what and where my background ended and where I needed to be. I understood what my upbringing brought me and how to use it to get what I wanted. I wasn’t greedy, but just ambitious and hungry for more to include life, work and love. I had to move to Manhattan for work, that is where I crossed the bridge and made my Manhattan Connection.
In Manhattan, NYC
As a Brooklyn girl, it was a bit of an adjustment to live and work in Manhattan. New York has a certain kind of magic for many people, and for me, it was no exception.
When someone thinks of NYC, they tend to think of Manhattan as that magic land. Many movies and songs have been written about New York, and they generally refer to Manhattan. With Manhattan’s flair, you feel it in the shine of SoHo, street appeal of Greenwich Village, the hustle and bustle of Wall St, the touristic excitement of Times Square, Broadway’s talented artists, the glamor and drama scene, and the buzz of Harlem.
The culture of Brooklyn is more down to the masses. It has deeper roots in the past and integrated multigenerational families, all tied to neighborhood pride. You have the Italian-Americans of Bensonhurst, the Russians and Ukrainians of Brighton Beach, and for my neighborhood, the impoverished Poles from Greenpoint, also known as Little Poland. Blue collar polish immigrants clustered in the neighborhood to work in factories and warehouses in the early days, and built their lives and family pedigree in a close-knit culture, with ties to the old world.
Greenpoint’s storied immigrant past itself is dying, and selling out to gentrification. Hipsters encroach upon the remaining 10,000 Polish-Americans in Greenpoint today, (around half of the Polish population of 10 years prior). The neighborhood was changing, but my family was dug in there hard.
As a Pole, we are known for being very matter-of-fact, straight forward and conservative, but the culture has opened up significantly to assisting Polish women professionally. My Polish culture, values hard work, strong work ethics, punctuality, and respect for deadlines made me think I could do more.
I moved to Manhattan for work to prove myself and prove to my family that I have the ability and drive to become something better than even I thought I could become., Although I now live in Manhattan, I cross the Brooklyn Bridge to visit family as often as I can make the trip.
My Move to Manhattan
I found a small apartment, and a roommate that I could stand, and started at the insurance company in September of 2009. I was young, pretty (if I say so myself), skinny, energetic, with a semi-tough exterior. I’m from Brooklyn after all.
My first day was met with a few stares, since I was not up to the fashion standard of the office. I didn’t really have the money to dress like the ladies in the office. Fortunately, my roommate’s friend Ashley had a Manhattan Connection and worked at a big consignment shop in SOHO, The RealReal.
She had a great fashion sense, and she alerted us to the good deals as she always had her eye out for a good item for a good price. It was very helpful that I could “reasonably” get some decent things to wear, and it gave me the confidence I needed. It got me noticed at work and I went from nearly invisible as an outcast, to someone formidable, over time.
Promotional Opportunity
I quickly learned my job and was doing well. I was working hard and spending a lot of time in the office. I received many compliments from my boss and the other staff as well.
I had the necessary people skills, although a little unpolished, which allowed me to become a go-to figure for the managers if they needed something in a hurry. I luckily garnered favor with Shelly K, the CEO’s executive assistant (EA), who would recruit me to help with some the big deadlines for the company, or to support whenever there were big clients in the office.
When the VP’s EA was planning to retire, she recommended me to fill the position.
The VP, had someone else in mind for the position, but he met with me for an interview anyway at the behest of Shelly. He said that he heard good things about me and wanted to hear directly from me. In the interview he said that he needed someone to take care of a lot of the little things that were eating up his time. I told him of my dedication and work ethic that I earned from my culture and, he said that our conversation swayed him, and he hired me on the spot.
We quickly developed a work chemistry that he said made his life easier. He later attributed our work relationship, with helping to make him more successful. I attributed it to a shared meaning and purpose. I loved that I had the opportunity to promote myself with work, and with Jeffery. Working with Jeffrey has made life more rewarding for me as well.
We had a certain kind of bond that went beyond a normal working relationship as I took care of a lot of things for him that were beyond the requirements for the job. I was drawn to his demeanor and his ability to see me. I was careful in only flirting with him a little when he least expected it.
We had a certain chemistry that even Shelly had noticed. She had teased me a little that I might have a schoolgirl crush on Jeffery. She wasn’t wrong, there was clearly something between us, but I didn’t want anyone to notice.
Work Night in the Office
We were working late one night on a new business proposal and Jeffery was having issues with his computer. We had a new client that we were trying to sell and he was struggling to put together the proposal. He was distracted by outside issues mostly, and unable to concentrate. He had broken up with is long-term girlfriend, whatever her name was, and it had him distracted.
I walked into his office to help, and was met with him walking out to my desk. I almost ran straight into him, but he managed to brush past me. It was the first time we had actually touched. I mean, I liked to hang over him now and again, and feel his warmth, while we worked on his computer, but I never directly pushed a boundary.
He gave me a look this time that made me nervous. I would catch him looking at me sometimes, but this time was different. I felt something electric go through me, and I started to believe that as I secretly was wanting more out of this close working relationship, that maybe he did as well.
We didn’t speak about it that night, but left the office after another hour or so. It was all I could think about that evening.
The next morning, he was in the office early. He was never early. I was taken aback that he was there before me, and it threw me off a little. He was talking a mile a minute and I could tell that he was equally distracted. He said that he had decided last night that he need to buy a house. It seemed a little random, but I could tell that he was serious.
He had his computer up and was looking at a new house in the Upper West Side of Manhattan. He had found one that he was interested in and had to go there to see it this morning. He said that there is a pretty, tree-lined Upper West Side Block on 78th Street between Broadway and Amsterdam Avenue that he said would make a great home.
He had already made an appointment for 10:00am and said that we had to go there to see it. I typically went with him to help out with things, but somehow this felt different and more personal. He was acting strange and was more excited than usual. He kept talking about how great it would be to live there and be able to get to work easily. It’s a place a person could raise a family and still be in the city, he said.
We took a cab and as we pulled up to the home, he asked if I liked the area. I was captivated. I loved it. It was beautiful and much nicer than even I had expected, and a far cry from my tiny apartment or my family home in Greenpoint, Brooklyn. He seemed pleases as he smiled at me with the biggest grin I had ever seen on his face.
In a New Place
We toured the home and I watched as Jeffrey was excited about what he might put where, and the tiny yard space in the rear where he could have people over for wine in the evenings and weekends. He talked about the schools in the area and asked what private schools are available in close driving range.
He didn’t have any kids, so I thought maybe it mattered for resale value. Then I thought maybe he was getting back together with his ex, whatever her name was, and wanted a place for them to raise a family. She had been pressuring him to marry, but he kept putting her off. My heart fell a little as I thought about him marrying her. I don’t know for sure, but he was very excited about the place and the neighborhood.
He was a different person when we were there. He was so warm and excited, he couldn’t stop looking around and at the place and to me and the real-estate agent as though he was seeking approval.
He said it was a big change from his place in Queens and that he needed to know if it was okay. I said to him that I think it would be just perfect for him and his future, and he beamed like a young kid with his first bike, or okay, maybe an older kid with his first car.
He suggested that we stop off for lunch on the way back to the office, and I was happy to go with him. We had a rule that we only had lunch out of the office when necessary and we could charge it to the business. This time he didn’t mention business.
We stopped at Tessa Restaurant in the upper west side. He said that he wanted something close to the place if he was going to buy it so it would feel familiar. As we sat at the table, he was still on a high that I hadn’t seen before. As we talked, he said that he had an epiphany last night that he wanted to really focus on his life and build his future. He looked at me again and asked if I had plans outside of work. I didn’t know what he meant.
He looked at me and asked me what I was looking for. I stared at him for a minute. It felt a little like a test, but maybe I was just dreaming. I told him that I was from a big fairly traditional family, and that I had always wanted a family for myself. I wanted to have a relationship that allowed us to be a team and to build something together.
He said that’s great and smiled at me. I didn’t know what that meant, but I hoped. I didn’t want to get my hopes up too high.
We finished lunch and when we went to catch a cab, he asked if I wanted to play hooky for the afternoon. I protested a little as I was responsible for keeping him on schedule. He said stop worrying so much and to lighten up. So I agreed and simply vowed to have a good time.
Jeffrey said he wanted to spend a little more time checking out the local area and suggested we just walk. So, we walked around and talked as we made our way over to where the art museum at the Lincoln Center was located. We spent the day just walking around and talking. It was the best day that I could remember in my life to this point.
We then sat and talked for a while, and he asked again what I was looking for. But before I could speak, he said wait. Let me tell you.
He talked about how well we worked together and that I had been an inspiration to his life and made him more capable. He said that we made a good team together and that I was a complement to his life. He said that he has been giving a lot of thought about if we were together and something clicked last night for him.
I just blushed and smiled. He then kissed me. Oh, My! This was awesome!
He said he wanted us to be together. He asked what I thought of us dating and being a couple?
Normally my head would be spinning at this point, but I was surprised how focused I was. I wanted the same thing, and I told him that I had wanted this for some time. He beamed again and kissed me hard a second time. I was so excited now too!
In a New Place with a New Place in Manhattan
We spent the rest of the afternoon plotting out our dating future, what we would do or say at work and how to act in public. We went to his place and had the best sex I have ever had. The best day I ever had. We decided that being open in public was best, and we didn’t want to hide. We wanted for everyone to know what we had together.
Later that evening when we were done with the intimate business, he said he knew of the Smoke Jazz and Supper Club in the area where his new house was to be, and that we should check it out later. He said he had to make a call so he could lock up the house with his Real Estate agent, before someone else bought it.
To make a long story short, we started our new relationship with all of the hope in the world. I got a wonderful man who was like a best friend and lover all in one wonderful combination.
He later told me that he had brought me to the house to get my approval, and that he ultimately bought the house for me and for our future. So, I asked him when I could move in. He said immediately.
After I took him across the bridge to Brooklyn to introduce him to my family, I moved in with him. We lived together for about six (6) months before he asked me to marry him. We got married about seven (7) months later.
Five (5) years into marriage, and I am still in love with him. Having worked together we have a shared meaning and purpose and plan for a loving future.
