Let’s call him Tim. I feel like I had been at the dating game for some time now. I spent time on the Lilly pad and have waded through a bunch of frogs and not enough Prince Charming’s. I’ve expelled way too much emotion on way too many unqualified men.
I’m a romantic at heart and although I get my share of looks, chats and offers, I’m just looking for the right connection. For only being 29 years old, I’m unnaturally (by today’s standards) a traditional woman, for which a number of my friends cannot comprehend. So, let me tell you about my search for the one.
When I met Him
I have met my share of men (or boys really) but had a hard time taking most of them seriously, and therefore have had only had two serious boyfriends before this time.
When I met Tim, it was electric and automatic, I just knew that I would like him. Seeing him interact with the people was confirmation of his prowess. People were drawn to him, the women in the gym were swooning. Later, I confirmed his standing among those who knew him and cared about him. He came from a prominent New York family with rich traditions and a notable last name.
He gave me a look that melted my shoes. I felt like I couldn’t move for a minute or two, I wasn’t actually sure what my name was at this point, and my future life flashed before my eyes. A husband, 2.5 kids and a house with a white picket fence. He was a dreamy and tall, with dark features, nicely trimmed beard and in good shape…and had a girlfriend. Oh no! Just my luck. She walked up and put her arms around him, she was pretty, Latina, big boobs and skinny. He smiled at her, so I thought I didn’t stand a chance and I wasn’t his type.
The gym had always been a weird place for me, I’m white, slender, athletic, in physical good shape, although I hate my thighs. But, overall, I’m still intimidated by all of the machines and weights and the big men slinging them around (well and the grunting, lol).
I’m a runner and have been really into half marathons since college, I run outside with my brother a lot, but when winter rolls around I take to the indoors as much as possible. Really, getting out to the big fitness center is sometimes a bit overwhelming, but a necessary evil to burn off those hard to shed calories. Damn you chocolate cake. Damn you ice cream.
I was minding my own business, and three miles into my daily run when suddenly, I gentleman sidled up to the machine next to mine. I peeked through my expert side vision and it was the guy. And he was looking at me. At least I had hoped, I couldn’t really look.
I decided to slow my run so I could risk taking a look. Oops not him, not even close really. LOL. Kind of cute though with short blond hair and a tight T-shirt. He grinned a little when I looked at him, and just then Tim walked up between the treadmills to tease his buddy and his running style. He made a couple of quips and then said that I had a better grasp on the use of the gym equipment and should give Jimmy some pointers. I laughed and shared a second look that almost made me stumble and trip. I semi-abruptly ended my run as I bantered back and forth with the two guys. Tim later told me he sent Jimmy there so he had an excuse to walk up to me.
Tim introduced himself, and told me that he had seen me running outside with my boyfriend a few weeks ago and that he had thought about trying to catch up to us, but realized he didn’t have the lung capacity as he wasn’t much of a runner and wasn’t sure about the boyfriend. I played along and only later, let him know that it was my brother. Could I play hard to get? Anyway, I thought he had a girlfriend.
The Same Routine
The next day, the same thing, the Jimmy and Tim routine.
It was funny and I was ecstatic.
This time Tim didn’t mess around and turned his attention just to me. We later spent the day talking in the café next door and were together ever since. Turns out his girlfriend was his ex and she had wanted him back, but he wanted more. And that was me. Or so he said.
Although he never directly said it, he wanted someone that was white like him that would fit in his work and business persona, and the lifestyle that was typical of his northeastern upbringing.
The Relationship
We dated for the next two years and tried to play a few situational routines along the way. Always funny and romantic, Tim could always make me laugh. He had a big heart and I loved him for all of the big gestures that were a constant in our life.
After things stated to get serious, he bought me a new car when my tires got bald instead of just telling me to get new tires. Later that year, he dropped to one knee, as he had bought me a big ring with his inheritance money from his grandmother.
She had always wanted him to get married and have grandkids, and I was happy to get to meet her a couple of times before she passed away. She was a warm and graceful, yet tough lady who I respected immensely. The consummate New York WASP who ruled the family standing in the community, with high character and generational wealth.
Life for us was falling into place. Tim was looking at houses and I got bogged down in Wedding plans. Well, bogged down so much that I lost sight of the big picture and took my eye off of where we were headed.
The Heartbreak
It turns out that Tim has been following his family and grandmother’s dream of the perfect Norman Rockwell family, and now that his grandmother was gone, he started to look back on his life and had reflected on his past relationships and that of the big-boobed harlot from the gym.
I found out later that she had reached out to him when she heard he was getting married and seduced him one night when he and Jimmy were celebrating. He slept with her and she kept chasing him. Jimmy’s girlfriend let it slip that Tim had slept with her behind my back.
When I confronted him, he at first denied it. After a lot of prodding, he later confirmed that he met her when he was drinking and she reminded him of what they once had together. I didn’t know how to respond immediately, but was heartbroken. I couldn’t get over it and quickly broke off the engagement, throwing the ring in his face and didn’t speak to him for a week.
I could never get passed the idea of him with her and the betrayal and how he could wreck our life to be. I had dreams of a life much like my upbringing and what Tim had described of his own. He romanticized the perfect yuppie family and I had bought it hook, line and sinker. I was so disappointed, but had no choice but to move on as I could never trust him after that. Tim tried to convince himself that he wanted to the perfect family, but I later found out that he got back together with his ex.
My search for the one continues.
