Here are two dating diary stories. You will have to decide for yourself which is the Bait & Switch and which is the Romantic.
It’s just one woman’s tail of first dates and current dating experiences in today’s American culture.
The Bait & Switch?
I know what you’re thinking. I fell for someone based on a picture they had posted that was really old and they look nothing like that today.
Nope. That’s not the case here.
I found Donnie very attractive. He’s semi-retired law enforcement, and has a background in mental health, which I am big into as well. When we talked on the phone he was really nice and we hit it off. We met at a local bar for a bit of food and drink.
Donnie was super nice, handsome, and a bit bigger than I anticipated, but I was okay with it. We talked about fitness, and diet and he told me some of his plans to change his diet around.
We discussed our kids, past relationships… the conversation was good, and at the same time, kind of all over the place. Then he dropped a bomb.
He said “If we ever get married…” And that’s when I froze.
Married? I’ve known you for 30 minutes and you’re already talking about marriage?
I can’t even remember what the rest of the conversation was about. I ignored it and moved on.
And then he said it AGAIN.
The last thing you should be talking about on a first date is marriage. A general “I’d like to get married again someday, I just haven’t met the right person” is one thing. But to aim it at the person you’re with, whom you have just met? Only after having known them for less than an hour? That sent me running the other direction.
I tried to keep an open mind, but when he texted me the next day, I just couldn’t interact with him the same way. And he felt it. The marriage thing was such a shock and a turn off.
Haven’t heard from him since. Oops.
Or is it?
The Romantic?
Monte was a bit of a surprise. We met at a local taco chain, but there was a 30-minute wait, so we went next door to a bar where we could enjoy the air conditioning and a couple of drinks while we waited for our table to be ready.
Monte is a handsome man, and the conversation flowed easily as we talked about kids and work.
Once the table was ready at the taco place, we closed out the tab and went next door. We were sat at the very back of the restaurant, so there really wasn’t much traffic walking past us except for the food moving between the kitchen and the tables.
At this restaurant you don’t have servers. You have a QR code, order on your phone, and people bring your order to you. There’s barely any interaction between the staff and its customers except when they help give direction on how things work. It wasn’t bad, but the experience for a restaurant felt less personal.
We were in a booth sitting across from each other. Since, we were ordering from his phone, he took the opportunity to come sit next to me so we could both see his phone. I thought it was sweet.
We perused the menu, ordering our cocktails and a sampling of different tacos. He had checked out the menu earlier and was excited to try the pork belly. I was all about the lobster! In my defense, I grew just outside of Boston, so if there’s an opportunity for lobster, I’m taking it! We also ordered cilantro lime shrimp, fish, chorizo, and of course the pork belly tacos.
Monte and I chatted the time away and when the food came, I devoured it. I learned he’s a slower eater, so I should probably learn to pace myself when I’m around him.
All of the tacos were fabulous, but I have to say I thought the fish tacos were the best. I wish the chipotle slaw was served with the lobster tacos. I mean, I love lobster! But on this occasion, the fish tacos won me over. Monte, who was looking forward to the pork belly, ultimately enjoyed the lobster best.
We finished our time there and he asked if I wanted to go for a walk. The restaurant was located at a town center outdoor type mall. I told him about the big fountain up the street, and we decided to sit on a bench near the fountain and talk.
We walked up the street avoiding the construction that was going on, only to find that the fountain was walled off for renovations. So much for benching it. So, we continued around the corner and came across another bar and we decided to go in for some drinks.
We sat at the bar and continued our conversation. As the time neared 11pm, we decided to call it a night. Since it was a large town center, there was multiple parking places and hadn’t pre-planned where to park. Since we were parked in different garages, he offered to drive me to my car. I accepted and of course that turned into a bit of “parking” in the parking garage.
He tried to push me past my comfort zone, but I held firm. No sir, not on a first date.
“It is a Tinder date” he told me.
“Yes, but that’s not all I am looking for.”
He respected my stance and drove me to my car. We also made plans to see each other a couple days later. Despite the minor hiccup at the end, it was a successful date and I’m looking forward to spending more time with him.
