When I think back about my life, I often wonder if I was as cute as I thought I was. What has changed for me, and how do I navigate this new environment on my 40s?
I have been out there dating for the last two years and am feeling optimistic, but I also feel that I am just a little bit jaded. I am still willing to put myself out there and see the kinds of men that are available for a future relationship and I’m working through the genetics of it all.
As I said, I am open to meeting new men, and in particular good men, but I’m unsure if will ever understand the male species.
The Male Species
When I tell my girlfriends about the new guys that I meet, my friends always ask, “What type of animal is it?”
My group of friends and I have a classification system that we call The Animals. Yes, we classify men by an animal type! It’s not truly scientific, but more of a fun exercise.
There are a lot of different species in the jungle, so from this perspective, there are a million categories really, and we tend to make them up on the fly. Think of it more of a kids game, like a random list from the animal generator.
Well, yes it may be a bit crude or even a bit rude at times, but on some level, animals like the Elephant, the Ox, the Lion, the Tiger, the Cheetah and the Monkey does somehow fit when discussing the male species. These terms, unfortunately seem to have merit, when you follow some of the details.
Please forgive me, I didn’t create these, nor do I fully endorse these. Its more tongue and cheek than a hard definition. Think more fun or funny, than making fun of somebody.
The Animals- this is certainly not an exhaustive list of types, here are just a couple of examples:
- The Elephant is the typical big guy that may move a little slower (he is effectively older now) but none-the-less is active, easy to work with and helpful due to his size and overall presence and normal calm demeanor. Think big protector and your dad-type that is family oriented. Also think cuddly like a bear, but not as aggressive and potentially as dangerous.
- The Ox is more stern, he may or may not be a big guy, but tends to be more rigid (maybe even more than you would expect from first meeting him), and he is set in his ways. He may or may not be nice, that is more of a second level description or adverb like a friendly ox, grumpy ox, or quick-moving grumpy ox. If that makes sense.
- The Lion is the king of the jungle. He has all of the women surrounding him already. He may or may not be a player or a Chad that capitalizes on being highly desired though. In fact, he may or may not be a super alpha or hyper-built muscular type (but can be). He is probably more fun to be around and is professional, tall, probably good looking, maybe more stylish than men his age with some class and character. He would be a great mate if you wanted a position or status, or still wanted to have children or the best offspring prospects.
- The Tiger might be more of a sweet spot. Think calm, cool and collected. He is the right amount of charisma, intelligence, passion, and the right balance of emotional intelligence and assertiveness. He might not care as much about running things, and because of this he may have more time for you. He is most likely good looking and successful, with some swagger – the holy grail of men.
- Not to be confused with the Cougar in women, the Cheetah is more of a stalker. He seeks out his pray in public and you can see him darting around the room to meet all of the women. He may or may not be an alpha male type that you may want stalking you vs. a wimpy guy (Dog type) that is just trying way too hard. He may be playing the numbers game and hoping if he hits on every woman, he might get one solid lead. He is a qualified or glorified pickup artist. Again, qualifiers help like aggressive cheetah or pleaser cheetah help with the classification.
- The Monkey is friendly and cute. He may not be the tallest guy or the most typically masculine man, but he is fun to be around, can carry a conversation and is a guy that would do about anything for you if you gained or earned his trust. He probably has a big list of friends and has an active lifestyle with plenty of interesting hobbies. If you aren’t looking only for the masculine guy, he is a good potential mate. A manipulative woman might turn him into a dancing monkey, however.
Note: That is some of the list as best I can recall it. Again, not an exhaustive list, just a bit of fun. Sorry guys.
Me Looking for Love
I don’t seem to as easily connect with men today as I once did. Maybe it is my age, or my poor selection ability. But for me, it seems harder to find a man that seems serious about having or wanting a long term relationship. I’m surprised by the number of old Oxen that are set in their ways. and by the amount of Chadly- LIONs (players) there are out here now.
The young guys
I just want to make it clear that I’m definitely saying that I am not a Cougar looking for the youngsters, but I am just surprised by the number of young guys who approach me.
Again, I thought of myself as cute when I was younger, but I don’t remember it being this way when I was single in my 20s. Why are the young guys still approaching me? I’m past that now and don’t need that type of attention.
SO…., where are all of the good men?
God, please send more adult Tigers, not just more men!
Online
It is more likely to meet someone online today, so you have to be well versed in the dating game and be able to quickly spot the animals amongst the men.
The Dogs
I have been looking for men on-line and am not feeling great about this either. There seems to be an imbalance of men to qualified men. There is an abundance of wimpy animals like the wimpy Dog that I have come across – you know, the friendly type but not always very charismatic. These are the people pleasers that don’t have a direction of their own.
This reminds me of the Diary of the Wimpy Kids – Dog Days… “It’s summer vacation, the weather’s great, and all the kids are having fun outside. So where’s Greg Heffley? Inside his house, playing video games with the shades drawn.” Note: You can buy the book in hardcover for $5.54 on Amazon…
Or its Meet the Players of Puppy Bowl XIX, some from Team Ruff and some from Team Fluff. “These puppies can’t wait to take to the gridiron in the Puppy Bowl Stadium and show off their moves on the field.”
These are not the leaders that us ladies are looking for. We want men, not boys. Or Dogs, as sweet as some of them can be.
Animals in the wild
I have met a number of Monkeys, and Cheetahs lately but am looking for a Tiger or an Elephant.
I do have a lot of options for men wanting to take me out, but men that are good looking and successful seem to have the upper hand. They call it The Paradox of Choice. The good men have dozens of options, i.e., an abundance of choice. I can’t blame men for being desired, I get it.
It is just the ones that are taking advantage of it today that is troubling. Since they have so much choice, they can constantly play the field and sleep around. They can become hurtful to society and need to go back to the jungle. These Player-Lion men are the worst kind.
Dating in your 40s
Anyway, it’s not easy out there in the wild with all of these animals running around. As a woman in her 40s, I’m studying up to become a Lion and Tiger trainer. Surely with the right whips and a stern demeanor, I can tame the savage beast!
So what type of animal is it that you are looking for?
