Have you ever felt guilty for being attracted to someone while being married? This is my dilemma!
I have been happily married for 12 years, we have 2 kids, and all is what I can say, perfect.
Is there such a thing as emotional cheating?
My life
My husband is a dedicated father, hard worker and a fabulous husband. I can say I am a proud mom of my 2 boys and very dedicated as well, but it is hard to balance out time for my spouse and kids.
But, we spend so much time with the kids after work, it’s go, go, go, so by the end of the day, we are both wiped out. Don’t get me wrong I love my kids and I know being a parent is not easy, but my husband and I have not had many chances to go on dinner dates, watch a movie after the kids are asleep, etc.
I just hope one day we can do all those fun things you do with your partner and find ourselves again.
Outside Attraction
I love my husband, but right now I am feeling guilty for being attracted to someone else, and as much as I try to avoid it, it’s seems inevitable. I do not see my husband daily since we have different schedules, So I don’t typically see him the five days that I work.
A lot of times I feel alone, and a bit lonely, and have wanted the closeness we once had. I think because of this loneliness I have been unconsciously seeking to fill that void in my life.
I didn’t mean to find someone else attractive outside of my marriage, I think it just happened. Now I feel like I’m in a pickle, I sometimes cannot wait to bump into him, just to see him, but later I feel guilty.
I feel like I am emotionally cheating.
Seeing Dr. R Again
With masks nowadays, we can only try to imagine if the eyes are attractive, hopefully the rest of the face is as well, I have never seen Dr. R without a mask, but I bet he is still freakin hot! I work a large hospital and daily run into all sorts of staff and patients.
So, what are the odds of my crush having the same first name as my husband? That is like insult to injury as it makes it a bit worse.
One day as I was taking a patient being discharged, Dr. R (Fellow) happened to be coming straight at me and we made eye contact.
He smiled and so did I, and my heart raced. I felt like I needed to say something.
So I said, “Hi, how are you?”
and he said “good thanks.”
That day really impacted me, because I cannot explain what I felt when we both saw each other, as it was like nothing I have felt before.
After that, I have keep bumping into him so much that I am starting to think if it is a sign or something. Maybe he thinks I am stalking him?
Is it really Emotional Cheating?
Feeling attracted to him is not intentional, I myself, am not sure why this occurred, but I know deep inside, this will not go anywhere. Who knows, maybe he has a girlfriend and does not even imagine that I have a crush on him (I hope he does not).
All that I can say, is the times that we have had eye contact, I sense something like he is also shy and wants to say more than just Hi, but it just won’t come out.
I wonder why we feel attraction towards others if we are happily married and content with our spouses. Is there maybe something missing between my husband and I? Am I not getting the attention I deserve?
I am sure this has happened to others. I am curious to know how they dealt with this, because, in a way, I feel like I am cheating, emotionally cheating that is, and just thinking, if my husband has felt the same towards someone else, it would give me so much anxiety.
