by HotProperty
Well, at the ripe old age of 32 I have seen a few things and met a few people. I know that I am not old, but I don’t feel innocent or sheltered anymore. My mind is open and clear and I’m open to all that life has to offer. I’m still hot, at least I think so and I keep in relatively good shape and have a good sense of style.
I’m hitting my stride at work and seeing the results of my professional efforts, and am bucking for a promotion to a Program Executive. But as we all know, at this stage in life I’m finding that there is more to life than work, and I am feeling like I have a missing piece of the puzzle.
Contemplating Life
My sister is married, my best friend is getting married, and I’m merely dating, somewhat casually. Still just casually… Okay, maybe no more.
I’m wanting more out of life and am looking back on past relationships and thinking what-if? What if I didn’t give up so soon, what if I had been more forgiving, what if I hadn’t have been so selfish? What would life look like now, if I hadn’t walked away from my two-year relationship with my college boyfriend? Could I already have a husband, and a family that cared about me? The more I write about it, the more I realize that I want to live it.
I know that I have had some choices in relationships and men, but were they good enough? Did they fit, but I just couldn’t see it, and I missed my one person? I’m just not sure. I was probably being too picky and judgmental with the men I did and do meet. Is picky a way to reference an inflated ego? I don’t have so much ego anymore.
I want it all and I think I can have it all. I’m prepared to make the sacrifices necessary, but as a modern woman, can I really be happy not completely running my own life? Can I have an equal partnership? Why is that so hard to find?
Thankfully I am a positive person and know that I can get what I need, it is just the fact that I need to be flexible. I don’t have a lot of doubts or regrets today, but still wanting it all.
The Prospects
I date regularly and believe that I have opportunity for a fulfilled life. Men show interest in me and some even go out of their way to meet me. They may not all be up to the task of dating me and meeting my requirements for a partner, but I do get a lot of interest.
I want a man that wants to seek it, earn it and win it. Maybe I’m not as modern of a woman as I have suggested in the past, and am considering what my future life could look like.
But I keep hearing from other women, where are all of the good men? Are they already taken? I think it is a matter of where you look and who you attract. I don’t regularly hang out in clubs or bars and seek out the same guys over and over again that are merely looking for one thing.
I have always been told that you have to go where the men that you want go to, in order to be seen by the right type of men. I’m not pushy and can be a bit shy when I hope I won’t be. All that I can do most days I be in the right place.
Making my own opportunity
Fortunately, I belong to a few (major) city event committees, and occasionally serve as Organizer, which does give me some connection to leading professional men in town. Unfortunately, many of them are married already, so this pool of very worthy men is small. I want to mention that I don’t compromise some things and wont mess with married men.
Now that I am getting more serious about my life and desire for a fulfilled future with a husband and family, I intend to keep pursuing events and activities that expand this pool of available professional men. Through the city committee structure, I believe that I can meet great men at these soirees and have begun to supplement this with on-line dating.
I’m encouraged by online dating, as I am dating with a purpose and present that in my profile and treat each interaction as a purposeful one.
I am not a selfish person, I have a big heart and love helping others. I try hard to be friendly to everyone no matter their status or what it does for me.
I’m of the belief that maybe my contacts (men and women) have a friend, cousin or brother that isn’t part of the events I attend or who see me online, but they can see value in me and may be willing to share that with their single friends or relative, if they see me as worthy potential spouse.
Is what I care about, what they care about?
I want to know if men care about my particular look and my tastes. Is that something that they find important? I realize that I don’t know a lot about what it is that men are looking for… I have been told recently, that I should understand what it is that they want. I feel that I bring good character and a loving nature. That has value right?
From what I have heard recently, there is a lot of talk about the question, “what does a woman bring to the table?” and trying to quantify that by means other than her looks or her ability or willingness to cook and clean. I don’t think that men want their mother, but more so someone to support them and be a good example to their offspring.
Both of these are difficult questions, as I don’t have any brothers, I haven’t paid a lot of attention to men’s wants for a successful relationship or what exactly they are looking for. I haven’t also spent a lot of time looking inward for what I bring to a relationship, but I do see value in trying to answer these questions.
I don’t know exactly what life will bring but I am open to it as I hit my stride. If I can answer these two questions I believe I will be in the right frame of mind to marry and bring the ability to build a successful long term marriage.
Dating in your 30s is a lot tougher than dating in your 20s, but the stakes are higher now for getting it all.
