It all started in sophomore year when I met Rafael, who was a senior at the time. I was pretty young and naïve and didn’t know he existed, but he knew me and I had found out that he had a crush on me. I was very flattered and knew instantly that he would become my first love.
A friend of mine set us up to meet after school. He was a tall, handsome, brown skinned Latino with a good sense of humor. I found him very intriguing and attractive. I felt lucky that an amazing guy was interested in me.
The Start of a Relationship
He pursued me and started buying me breakfast and picking me up after school. We started hanging out, that is until I found out he had a girlfriend. I stopped hanging out with him immediately after I found this out, and I told one of my girlfriends I didn’t want to cause them to break up. Really, I was a little hurt.
I didn’t see him for a couple of weeks, but in truth, I was missing his company. There was never a dull moment with him, I missed the chemistry that we had as we laughed a lot together and never ran out of things to talk about.
I kept myself busy with school and hung out with friends to get my mind off of him. Then one day he messaged me asking me out to dinner. I couldn’t resist, so I agreed to meet him.
My heart was pounding because I realized that I missed his company while we were apart. He told me that he broke up with his girlfriend and asked me if I wanted to start dating.
I was a little skeptical about him, but I was excited at the same time. I agreed and we got a lot closer, spending most of our time together before school, at school, at after school events and on weekends when I was supposedly hanging out with friends or at work. By a month later we became boyfriend and girlfriend.
Forbidden Love
I grew up in a conservative household and wasn’t allowed to date, but I started ing when I was 16, which gave me an alibi so I could see Rafael. We went out to dinner and we hung out at his house. He was my first love and my first everything. Our relationship was very simple. We didn’t go out a lot really, because I didn’t want my parents to catch us. He was 18 and allowed to date.
He told his parents about me after the first date, and I thought they were great. His parents loved me. They still do today, even though we’re not together anymore. When I turned 17, he asked me when I was going to tell my parents, but I was not brave enough, so I continued to lie to them.
When I turned 18, I finally told my parents about my boyfriend. I didn’t tell them that we had been seeing each other for a couple of years already. They really liked him as well and they were very happy and accepted him with open arms.
We were finally free to hangout wherever we wanted without fear of anyone seeing us and telling my parents. Things were great, finally being open about our relationship, we were hanging out with each other’s family and even going on vacations with them.
The Betrayal and Breakup
Because of our relationship and the bond that we had, I was very confident in myself and I trusted him. That was until one day, that he started hanging out with a girl that we both knew. I was steadily working to earn money to pay for my future college tuition since my parents were not well off.
I questioned him why he was spending a lot more time with this woman and he said that they were just friends. My suspicions grew stronger when my friends told me that they saw them going to the movies and out to dinner while I was at work.
I was hurt, and not being a martyr, I would not put up with him cheating on me. He came around one night and I confronted him. He admitted that he had been seeing her.
I was hurt and broke up with him. I was devastated and didn’t know how to deal with this break up. He was my first love, my everything and I thought he was the one that I would spend the rest of my life with.
I Moved on, But…
I spent the time enjoying what was left of my teenage years. My friends and I went to bars, clubs and met other guys, but I didn’t meet anyone worth of my time.
When I turned 21, I was celebrating my birthday with my friends, bar hopping at U Street in DC when we saw my ex-boyfriend with his guy friends. I must admit that I was immediately excited to see him. He remembered my birthday and knew why we were celebrating without asking. He decided to join us and we had a great time, drinking and dancing until the wee hours of the night.
After I spent time that time with him that night, it rekindled the old feelings that I had for him. I tried to deny it, but it was there.
He called me and pursued me again. He started asking me out to dinner and before I knew it, we were back together and in a relationship.
I tried to put his infidelity behind me, but I would be lying if I said that it didn’t bother me. I became irritable at times, and we would argue a lot. I wanted to hang out with my friends more than I wanted to hang out with him.
Broken Trust and Heart Break
After a long while, I came to a very hard decision, and I decided to let him go. It was a very difficult decision to make because he was my first love, but he broke my trust and that’s just something that is very difficult to get back. I tried to get past it, but it was always there lurking in the background. It was heartbreaking, but I just couldn’t trust him.
I still see him occasionally and he still asks if I want to get back together, but I am happy with where I am right now.
I go out with my friends, meet guys that want to date me, but I want to enjoy the best years of my life single.
