Stunned, Astonished and Betrayed – The eX Files
The anger that I feel since ‘Charlie’ my ex, cheated on me is driving me absolutely insane. I have never felt so betrayed and so hurt. How do I stop from losing my mind completely?
I’m stunned and betrayed and I can’t stop crying. My eyes hurt, my heart aches. I want to punch him in the face. I want my Dad to punch him in the nose. He would do it if I asked him to. How do I cope with this anger? Also the anger that I have, that he gets to be happy…?
My head is still spinning, and I’m dazed on account of his actions. How could he ever feel that this was acceptable? Why, Why, Why? Did he ever really care about me?
Wounded and Astonished
The journey after he betrayed me is absolutely excruciating. I can’t get passed the feeling that I want to get back at him. I’m also astonished that I am trying to work through that I want to get him back at the same time. I’m so frustrated, so lonely that I want to scream. The sense of loss is just wounding…
Recovering from this seems nearly impossible. I know that I need to move forward, but it seems impossible right now. I feel like I’m speechless and can’t express myself correctly. I’m in sort of a fog still.
I just can’t seem to find the words to express my disappointment, my hurt, my hatred for them both, and my loss of self-confidence. The loss of security, the loss of my partner. How could he choose her, she is nothing special? Why would you do this to me and sleep with her?
After I saw his texts with her, it was so gross. It was like I wasn’t even there. Once I confronted him, he finally confided that he had been sleeping with her for the past month. I think God made him “accidentally” leave his phone in my apartment so I would find out. Maybe he wanted me to know.
Why with her after all? He said that he didn’t even find her attractive. I just can’t believe it. Why wasn’t I enough, I thought we both loved each other.
The Infidelity and Betrayal
“Never assume the other guy will never do something, you would never do.” –Willie Mays
A guy friend of mine sent me the quote; it doesn’t quite fit right, yet it still does… I never expected that he would betray our relationship. I never would have. When he met her, he said that he didn’t even like her, that skinny B*t*%. I thought she was a friend of mine. They both betrayed me.
I don’t know how it started, he wouldn’t tell me before he left. She blocked me on everything. I saw them talking at the birthday party for my sister about a month ago. I wonder if it was ongoing before then.
I thought we had a strong, healthy relationship a stronger and connection then I could have wished for. I thought he felt the same way. We had two happy years together and a whole lot of happy memories to cherish.
I don’t think I can believe anything he says now. She keeps ducking me and I can’t get in front of her, but I will.
Are they still together?
I’m wondering if they are still together. I can’t stop imagining him with her, of all people.
I believed that we were soulmates – we were actually good friends also who could talk about anything. I thought we were solid, then something changed a couple of months ago. He would come home later and later. He kept saying that he was so busy at work. He does work hard, but I should have known. I think now that I just wanted to believe him.
He said that he didn’t want to leave me, but I had to let him go. I couldn’t trust him now. I think he is still with her. Do people actually keep a relationship after being betrayed? Do men leave for infidelity or other reasons? Did he go so quickly and willingly for his affair partner?
I think he wanted to have both of us, and to continue lying to me.
I Have to Move On
God help me cope. I have to move on. Please give me the strength that I need. Help me find the courage and the wisdom to choose better next time. If there is a next time.
I believe that self-respect and self-esteem largely comes from having faith in your own word and your own actions. I treated him well, but he hurt me and betrayed me for it. It’s just not right.
But I have to move on. So, as I move forward I have to deal with my emotions. I realize that. I’m generally a positive person and I don’t believe in letting my negative feelings fester.
My mother says I have to let go of the hate or my heart won’t heal. I’m not sure that I am ready for it to be over yet. She says that I deserve a healthy and happy love and have to take some responsibility for how I feel. The breakup was his fault.
I don’t want to hold on to the resentment. I know I have to let him go. She says that forgiveness will let me release the burden on me. “Time heals all wounds,” doesn’t help me right now, but I have hope that it will in time.
I have been told to erase everything, dump everything he left here, block and delete all communications and postings, and have absolutely no contact with him. I realize that is the standard answer, but I’m waiting for it to actually make me feel better.
I’m Stunned. How will I get back to having some self-esteem again?
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