Top 5 Things Men and Women Want from Each Other
Per our previous post, Dating Apps and Matching is Done in all the Wrong Ways, we covered some of the short comings and difficulties with Dating Apps and their Matching capability. This post is related to matching and identifies why it is so hard to make a successful connection. It continues the thoughts on desirability over compatibility and the perfect mate. Maybe it’s a lack of understanding between the sexes?
This post is a culmination of information we gathered from our ongoing conversations on relationships and finding a mate.
Understanding Dating Apps and how to utilize them according to what you desire is important, but you must first be aware of what potential partners value or one wants in the other partner.
In this post we will present the Top 5 Things Men Want from a Woman, and the Top 5 things a Women Want from a Man, as well as some additional valuable information you may want to know.
The following are the Top 5 Things Men and Women Want from Each Other, along with some details and qualifiers.
What Men Want from a Woman
5 Things Men Want from a Woman:
- Love, Honor and Respect
- Sex and Desire
- Friendship/Companionship
- Peace and Harmony (cooperation/compromise and agreeableness)
- Loyalty and Affection
The Details: What Men Want from a Woman
#1 Believe it or not, but men have a need for love and emotional support. That care that initially comes from their mother and is what allows men to become confident, and that emotional support is what they need to become a complete and effective man. Men need this from the woman in their life to maintain this ego or esteem boost, and keep them focused and on their purpose. Being admired is at the top of the list for a man.
In his book “Love and Respect Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, defines that “Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect.” https://blog.12min.com/love-and-respect-pdf.
See the interesting summary at blog.12min.com, where Dr. Eggerichs offers two strategies to energize the cycle of marriage: C-O-U-P-L-E for the men, and C-H-A-I-R-S for the women. The author of the summary offers their own critical review stating: “Love & Respect” puts too many chips on one bet and it may be a bit too Christian for some people’s taste. However, other than that, it’s actually very balanced, and it provides readers of all genders with valuable insight about the common failings of all relationships and even more valuable tools to repair them.
C-O-U-P-L-E: How to Spell Love to Your Wife
- Closeness: She wants you to be close.
- Openness: She wants you to open up to her.
- Understanding: Don’t try to fix her; just listen.
- Peacemaking: She wants you to say, “I’m sorry.”
- Loyalty: She needs to know you’re committed.
- Esteem: She wants you to honor and cherish her.
C-H-A-I-R-S: How to Spell Respect to Your Husband
- Conquest: Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.
- Hierarchy: Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.
- Authority: Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.
- Insight: Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel.
- Relationship: Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.
- Sexuality: Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy.
If it is up to us, though, love and respect go hand in hand, and all sexes need large quantities of them both.
#2 The drive for sex is tied to testosterone levels. Men having higher levels of testosterone typically have a higher drive. Women who work out regularly may see higher levels as well, but this most likely doesn’t reach the peak of man. With men’s character for visual stimulation also drives their desire.
According to John Gray, author of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, what is important about sex is that this is how men connect with women. It is crucial to bonding in a relationship. Being desired inherent in us all, but for men this desire goes hand-in-hand with their need to be respected as a leader.
#3 Friendship is important to men and sharing what they love to do with their significant other is important as it builds the shared experiences that are of friendship, not relationships. He wants you to be his recreational partner and best friend. He desires the social interaction and networking that comes with doing things he likes with his wife. Also, companionship is akin to having a true confidant, being the other person’s person, the go-to for all things confidential.
#4 It’s no secret that men ultimately want peace in their home, and having a peaceful existence is necessary for family harmony. At some level men desire to be in the lead and this is evident through lack of confrontation in the home. They desire harmony and that requires cooperation and the willingness of their partner to get along during the majority of their time together. Unity is the key to a peaceful home.
#5 Love is that powerful emotion that brings you together and creates strong bonds, and loyalty is all about honesty, trust, and commitment. It means sticking with your partner through good times and bad times. Affection is the appreciation that comes with that love and loyalty, it is the natural occurrence of intimacy between partners showing that you care and enjoy the closeness and harmony between just the two of you.
* There are other things and characteristics, of course, that men want such as: having autonomy, having a woman with attractiveness, fitness, femininity, confidence, sophistication, inspirational ability, and there are also Core Values that are necessary.
What Women Want from a Man
There is also the flip side in that Women have their own wants and needs from a man. It’s no surprise that there are some similarities to the list, but also that there are some significant differences. Here’s the list:
5 Things Women Want from a Man:
- Love and Security
- Open and honest communications (i.e., A man who is real, is a real man in a woman’s eyes, vulnerability, deep emotional connections, etc.)
- Non-sexual touch and intimacy (cherish her)
- Support (financial stability; emotional stability and support; comfort; bonding; safety; tenderness)
- Admiration and appreciation
Since woman tend to have more expectations and lists of wants than a man, I added a sixth as a Bonus for what women want from a man
- Moral Integrity and dependability (character: honesty, trustworthiness, ethics, etc.)
The Details: What Women Want from a Man
#1 Love and Security is probably a much deeper issue than men can understand. Whether it’s taking time to listen, or more active involvement in major decisions, or child-rearing, finances, etc., make your presence a positive and supportive one. Security is tied to many things, which can include physical, emotional, financial or otherwise support for her.
Affirming that you value the person and validate her feelings as well as her very existence, assuring her of their importance to him is the tip of the iceberg of security. Other aspects such as kindness, patience, understanding, empathy, and compassion come to mind as paramount to security. This requires validation, or more specifically, to validate her reality by accepting how she feels and why she feels that way.
#2 Honest is important to all of us, and communicating a commitment to learn and grow from each other shows that partnership and commitment. Being open and honest with her helps her to connect and gain the deep emotional connection she desires. It doesn’t have to be all roses and daisies, but it has to be communicated and be honest. She feels included and respected if he values her and communicates openly with her.
#3 Women desire to be needed, cherished and respected. She wants to know that she is number 1 in your life and she is valued, and above all cherished. Intimacy here is non-sexual, but consensual and necessary. It validates that she is a part of you and your relationship. You are on the same winning team together and that she fits in your life and an integral and the largest piece of the relationship puzzle.
#4 Again support comes in many forms, this can include physical, emotional, financial or otherwise. She needs a safe space where they feel trusted by their partner. She wants to trust the man’s strength, and she wants the relationship to be a place where she is seen and heard. She needs to be in her feminine energy and if she is supported, she can be in her natural nurturing state of mind, where she is helpful to others. She wants to be appreciated and praised for her actions or at least reminded that she is loved. Overall, she wants to know she can count on her man
#5 Just like the men who have a need for admiration and appreciation, so do women. Having this in their life builds her confidence. It’s an extension of respect, love and cherishing. Praising her good qualities and her contributions to the relationship, family, etc. is immensely important.
For the bonus #6th. They want their man to have moral integrity. They want a man to be their rock for when all heck breaks loose or something happens to them personally. They need to know that there is character and conviction in their man that they can entrust upon. This leads to them having respect and confidence in her man. Once they do, they then feel secure and free to wish to feel and be in their feminine and be respected. She wants to be sexually desired by the right person.
* There are other things and characteristics, of course, like height; potential; prestige; stability, sensitivity or emotional presence, adventurous, driven or successful; sociable, discerning; attractive; masculine; satisfying intimacy, intellectual, assertive, emotional, and physical well-being.
Let us know if you agree or think something should be added, thanks.
